Community: On Interconnectedness & Necessary Boundaries

 

Offerings to Nvumbe, Nkisi of Ancestry

Some thoughts on Community, on Interconnectedness & Necessary Boundaries (English Version- Versão em português aqui)

We do nothing alone. Every major decision I make comes with hours of advice and counsel from my elders, trusted friends and godchildren, even my parents, who are not involved in my spiritual or professional communities outside of support for me.

Nothing is fast, nothing is just me. It is ultimately one of the biggest blessings in my life.

Setting boundaries that are necessary to protect a community from people who prioritize only their needs in a community or do not accept counsel or advice from many within the community unless it agrees with their own entitled perceptions of how things should be or go, is absolutely necessary.

Important decisions for the community are made *in* community.

I will side over and over with the camaraderie that comes from community that thrives because of support and investment into something outside yourself.

Individual needs are important. Those can be part of communal needs, but this speaks of a relationship beyond the individual.

Relationships that must be respected, tended, and honored.

My community is my inspiration. My parents are my inspiration.*

So many voices in the world, both in praise and detraction, but the voices I cherish are those of my elders and community.

My community grounds my individual perceptions and impressions in lived experience. My community brings me back to my body and challenges my own limited vantage.

What beauty exists in the world is better shared, and gratitude changes our perception.

Those that only seek to take from community, who try to isolate you from your own community, who try to paint a picture that their perception is the only one that is allowed, these people live in a loneliness that no one can rescue them from.

It is my community that reminds me, over and over: Life has so much possibility.Fight another day, fight for those you love so the fight is not against the world, but for those you love within it.

If all you have is yourself, start there, but maybe ask yourself: why?

“Respect is not submission, but recognition of interconnectedness.” **

Prioritize those who cherish this dynamic interconnectedness, rather than demand you recognize their entitlement to what you have co-created with others.

There is room for new relationships, there is room for growth and forgiveness, there is room for priority and unique needs, and there is always from for boundaries to protect the same.

Community, like peace, is fought for. Defend it.

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* My godmother Denise Oliver Velez is my inspiration. My parents Jesse & Yolanda are my inspiration. My godsister Ingrid is my inspiration. My director Matt Mitler is my inspiration. My elders like Pai Paulo are my inspiration. My godfamily in Lucumi and Quimbanda and my Dzieci family ground me and have shown me what it is to be a part of a community.

**I encountered this phrase in Babá Tilo Plöger de Àjàgùnnà's article "Omoluabi: The Yoruba Blueprint for Moral Excellence".

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